I had a dream last night where I had a fight with one of my old friends.  I told her to keep to her promises, that I don't always believe the lies that she has been feeding me. 

I am very bothered by the dream.  Why oh why can't I have dreams like Vu – who dreams of Ari Wibowo?   Hehe.  Instead I have all these screaming matches in my head, and I wake up troubled because it resembles real life so much! 

I am pissed off of course.  Those very close to me knows that I hate people lying to me.  If you don't want to do something, just say so.  No need to give excuses. 

I'm not talking about Mazreen.

Because, the thing is, you often think you are invisible, that what you say or do, is not known, but it's often known. 

Let's use the example of clubbing, my another … thing I can't stand. 

Let's say we are talking about clubbing, with some other friends, and then Jane (name changed to protect identity) dengan penuh semangat says "no lah, i dont go.  i dont like it at all.  waste of time, waste of money only." 

Then another time, we find out that she does in fact go.  Has been going since waaay before we had that convo.  Maybe on special occasions, maybe on days when she's bored.  Bottom line is, she goes. 

Why do you have the need to lie?  I don't give a damn if you go or not, it doesn't make you look better or worse in my eyes.  If you go, you go, if you don't go, you don't go. 

Maybe people just drift apart after a while, and attempts to draw in back the friendship will fail, because only one person is trying to save it.  New found friends, and new life and such, so I can understand if I dont have a place in it… I'll really still survive you know?  I have my family and I have my Maj and Waj (hehehehe) and I'm happy.  I just dislike all the lies in an attempt to push something into the background, to another day, citing one reason… when the actual reason is just, you're too lazy to bother. 

Just say the truth, so people tak tunggu-tunggu.  Malas ah dengan orang perangai macam ini.

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Siapa makan cili, terasa pedasnya.

(nak konfirmasi who is it I'm talking about, ask Mazreen.  Heh.  He's the only person who knows.  And I really pray that I'll never see the day where I have to just end it all with you, because I do treasure you tau, but it's getting really hard to deal with the constant lies.)

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