Mazreen has once said that I’m very “lain drpd yang lain” – I get upset, scared, angry, happy at things that people wont get upset, scared, angry, happy at.

Like, he has a friend, let’s call him Jim. Jim is an old friend who was kindof led astray – and now drinks and such. And he doesn’t go far to drink – he drinks at the kdkopi.

When Mazreen goes to the kdkopi and sees Jim drinking, he’ll sit at another table. Like, kononnya tak share dosa pasal lain meja.

So if I call and he’s at the kdkopi and he says Jim is drinking, but he’s seated at another table, I get so worried. Not scared that Mazreen will join Jim, haha, but what if Jim, in his drunken state (I don’t know how drunk people will behave, but in my imagination, it goes like this) starts bashing Mazreen up?

Mazreen will always ask me, if I tell him that, “why would Jim suddenly beat me up?”

I guess partly I’m scared that somehow Jim will entice Maj to drink, and although I know Mazreen is a very strong person, he wont do that. I trust Mazreen enough to know he won’t.

But, still, paranoia is a bitch. It keeps swimming around in your mind. Only when Jim is not there, then I will be ok with Mazreen at the kdkopi.

There’s a “moral of the story” to this story.

At last night’s syarahan, the Ustaz (his name is Ustaz Shafi) said that if your friends at the kdkopi is drinking, you have to move to another place (like, not have them in your sight at all)

In fact, you have to disfriend (correct english? haha. unfriend. whatever la. basically, dont befriend) that person. But I think that’s very drastic, because people who drinks, are still friends, as long as they dont ask you to drink as well. U know what I mean?

I’m glad the Ustaz made that point, because when we were talking on the phone at night, Mazreen brought up that point – and we discussed it a bit, and he said next week he’s going to ask the Ustaz a question – if we sit at another meja, will we get the dosa also?


The syarahan was good yesterday. There was a young lady (ard my age lah) sitting behind me and I felt like she was staring at me – I thought it was someone I knew, so I keep staring back at her through the reflections on the glass door. Hehe.

Oh, and btw, Mazreen dah propose again. At the entrance of the masjid. Hehe. I have my ring back!